Straight from my heart...

I never thought i wud be this low in my career.I underwent thru so much pain and faced hurdles since almost 13 years.My confidence was hit and that too by the people from my close quarters.I can understand who are talking back on me and i faced many such instances since years.Even people who cheared when i was their lucky mascot or in the cases where they took adavantage of me.I have been travelling around the places in search of my job.

The sad thing is that even if i get a job, my smile wont come back to me as i lost myself somewhere.I m in search of myself.Donno where and how i lost myself but its must that i need to back to myself asap and i know it wont be as simple as i think.Very less people gave a helping hand to me in my struggles.The million dollor question is that Where can i find myself and when will it happens.I dont know why i m such a state that even achieving something is not going to bring back my smile.Ofcourse i love my buddies and some times did almost everything for them.I always find joy with my buddies, if not all but atleast with somebody.Even my relatives,everyone wanted to take advantage of my slump situation and want to exploit me.Some are doing politics.Some went further and taking credit even for giving a glass of milk to me.They are projecting like Dana-veera-karna's pretending to be pity on me.what can i talk about those rediculous folks.A job was offered to me by some one of our relatives friend juss with a telecon interview.But, my relative is reluctant to take that offer to bail me out bcoz he feels that can get from anybody.Thats whats his version when i asked him why he didnt take that offer.If that opportunity was taken, it wud have been 6 months into my job by now.But that didnt happen only bcoz of relative factor policitcs.Its been the had phase of my life by so far.I have to be back soon.I need to find myself soon.Otherwise i wud be like a corpse with no feelings.Have to find some way to get back.May be if i keep myself busy,hope i can come out of my grief atleast to some xtent.Donno whom to share these and i dont find one to share my pains and i m out of tears.May god show me some way to find myself and hope i ll come out with fflying colours.I always feel like i shud be like a ball hit hard to the ground.If that happens it wud be great.By putting this into words hopefully i may be releieved a bit,if not much.